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| Sunday, July 31, 2011 |
| PROLOGUE |
It was a perfect
morning, sky partially filled with clouds and sun was playing hide and seek
with clouds. And suddenly it started raining, the rain showers was not that
hard, sound of rain drops sounded so nice. Meanwhile in a small room with only
one window and a bed near it, on which lied a boy. He was having a sound sleep,
when something broke the silence of the room. It was his mobile playing a
song... Tune mere jana kabhi nahi jana….
I it was his alarm which rang for some time making the boy wake up. He was
feeling sick as if something was ramming his head. He felt terrible. He tried
to recall what happened last night, and faintly he recalled he got drunk like
anything. And some images started to flash in front of his eyes. He never
wanted to remember those moments. He took out a cigarette, lighted it and began
smoking. The room was filled with smoke. And den his phone rang again. It was a
call he never wished to come, never wanted to pick, he always wished the person
calling never existed. He ignored the call, but the phone rang again. He threw
the phone on bed and went for shower. Nothing can make you feel better other
than a shower.
He was feeling refreshed.
He checked his phone, it had 22 missed called and 1SMS which stated, “are you trying to ignore me or you really don’t
want to talk to me. But can we meet for one last time”. He replied, “okie fine where do you want to meet? I just can
come for an hour. Have some important work”. And soon the reply came back, “fine, can you come to Pizza Hut in Big
Bazaar…. I will be there by 12.30 at noon… see ya den”. Soon to which he answered, “okie fine, I’ll be there”.
He knew it’s
going to be a long day, as he stepped out of his house, he saw it was a
beautiful day, the passing by clouds made it shady and sunny every now and
then. He started to walk down the road, as he stayed at a place where
transportation was not that good, so he had to walk for few minutes. As he
walked down, it started raining again,, but instead of rushing, he walked
slower for the reason he always loved rain a lot, and had got drenched in rain
whenever he got a chance, so how could he miss such a chance when he was going
to meet someone he avoided the most. He was enjoying every drop falling on his
face. He was enjoying everything, the sound, the aroma, the nostalgia. Suddenly
he recalled he had to meet that person, so he moved towards the road to get an
auto. Soon he got one and in half an hour he reached the place. It was still
raining; he preferred waiting out in rain and getting drenched and he sat on
the bench outside and was waiting for the one he hated the most.
And gradually
the rain stopped, he was completely wet and as he checked his phone, he found a
SMS stating, “sorrie I’ll be lil late as
it started raining cats and dogs…, hope you don’t mind. Please wait for me if
you reach earlier”. To which he
replied, “Okie fine but do come soon, I
got few important works undone”. And
he started recalled something and muttered she is never gonna change, he knew
her for quite long time though he was not in touch with her for last 2
years… she always had a habit of getting
late… well it’s not only she, most girls have that habit, only a few
exceptional are out of list. But this
time she wasn’t that late, she reached within next 15 minutes. He marked she
had a new pleasure, black colour. She parked her pleasure and approached him.
There was silence engulfing them and she looked into his eyes and he started
getting lost somewhere. Somewhere he never wished to go back again.
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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 7/31/2011 12:31:00 AM  |
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| Saturday, July 30, 2011 |
| new beginning |
Wow I just completed my prologue of my novel. It feels so
good to initiate something, I feel like posting my prologue here but I want to
keep it all with me till I publish it someday…. I’m trying to create characters
and seeking help from friends... I really dun want to make a friction… I want
to make something that was real… mix up stories of few peoples connect them and
bring them out to world… hope I succeed in my way…. It’s a new beginning…
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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 7/30/2011 03:27:00 PM  |
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| Wednesday, July 27, 2011 |
| It's Hard For Me To Pretend That I Don't Care About You Anymore |
I know this will not remain forever However it’s beautiful Your eyes, hands, and your warm smile They’re my treasure It’s hard to forget I wish there was a solution Don’t spend your time in confusion I’ll turn back now and spread
My broken wings Still strong enough to cross the ocean with My broken wings How far should I go drifting in the wind? Higher and higher in the light My broken wings Still strong enough to cross the ocean with My broken wings How far should I go drifting in the wind? Across the sky just keep on flying
Falling in the sky
That isn’t rain
Did I ever chain you down to my heart Cause I was afraid of you? No, I couldn’t hold any longer Love is not a toy Let go of me now The time we spent is perpetual Our future is not real So I’ll leap into the air
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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 7/27/2011 01:25:00 PM  |
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| Sunday, July 24, 2011 |
| Love never subsides into friendship ? |
Friendship may, and often and often dose, grow into love,
but love never subsides into friendship, says George Gordon Byron.
Do you identify with Lord Byron’s words? Personally, I think
so. Hatred is usually raised from passionate love. Strong love leads to too
much care. Too much care would ruin the love. In many cases, it was whom you love
most hate you most. You want to be friends with her/him. It is only a fantasy!
Love never subsides into friendship!
Love and friendship are very different. Love involves in
strong passion and the sense of possession. Love needs to be unique. You can fall
in love with only one lover at a period (if you are a serious person), but you
can maintain good friendships with tens of friends. I agree with the above
opinion that friendship can mature into deep love but love nearly fades into
friendship.
sorry its too long, please read this ….I broke up with my
best friend a year ago….she was deeply and madly in love with me
whereas I soon realised that I was hurting her a lot and gave nothing other
then pain, I broke it off without any warning and she was devastated…she became
really panicky about losing me and offered her friendship instead…she thought
maybe this will do the trick and she can keep me close to her in whatever
relation she can manage to…but I really am not comfortable about this friendship
thing after the break up …moreover I felt the same old leftover feelings which
were not doing anything good in this relationship, the difference being only
the labels of gf-bf changed! I broke it off completely and calmly sorted out
everything with her consent that we will give it some time before getting into
friendship...she agreed! I don’t deny the fact that I care for her a lot and
cant see her struggling with it...I have always felt my urge to talk with her
and called her whenever she missed me or I missed her ….recently we didn’t talk
for a month at a stretch... we do scrap each other…. But I feel that she still
wants me in her life and is very obsessed with me! Although she claims that I
am only her best friend but she still NEGOTIATES and desperately wants me to
come along with her ….. She knows I care for her!
I don’t deny that I have been a major culprit in whatever is
happening to her…. I just want to go away from her…. So far that I won’t become
any prob for her…….. I love her but I want to go far…. I’m frustrated,
devastated, confused with job, love, life, family and friendship…. I feel
really bad and lonely as to have changed and feel like I won’t forgive myself
for being so unfair to such a lovely caring girl I have ever met in my life! Sorry
but I can’t cope up with this void in my life!
I am in a fix ….I really don’t think we are heading
anywhere! Instead she is trying to get closer to me every time she scraps and I
feel pity for her and emotionally tortured at the same time! I care for this
girl a lot people! She is not anyone so that I should forget about her and move
on consoling myself that its for good, I tried to ignore her, but it gets
painful after sometime and I end up replying her scraps yet another miseries...
maybe I have given her the hopes….she has been with me every time and has liked
me like hell and has supported me with her true heart! I can’t be so mean to
her! But the situation demands something else which is really tough for both of
us! Can this friendship really work in this case? She realises that I am trying
to avoid her and talk less as much as I can… But she can’t help herself come
behind me or show that SOFT CORNER AND DEEP CARE AND CONCERN she has for me....
she is OK... but I can feel the pain in her voice on phone... this really turns
me off and I feel guiltier! Please give you opinion ….I don’t want to lose her
but her wanting me behavior is driving me away from her!
Why can’t love turn back into friendship……… the more in
ignore…… getting on with other gals… nothing is possible… I’m so pissed off……..
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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 7/24/2011 12:07:00 PM  |
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| Saturday, July 23, 2011 |
| Boy/ Men also have emotions |
I think everyone might have read abt Mom's, Wife's and
Girl's... Its time to learn something
abt Boy/ Men...
Who is a boy / man ?
A boy/ man is one of
the most beautiful creations of God. He
starts compromising at very tender age. He sacrifices his chocolates for his
sister. Later he sacrifices his love for
just a smile on his parents face. He sacrifices his love for his wife and
children by working late nights. He builds their future by taking loans from
banks and then repaying them for the life time. Thus he sacrifices full youth
for his wife and children without any complain. Believe me he struggles a lot
but still has to hear the music (scolding) of Mother, wife and his boss. Yet
every mother, wife and boss tries to have control over him. Finally his life ends up by compromising for
others happiness. He is that creature of God who no one can compete with. Respect
every boy/man in your life. You will never know what he has sacrificed for you.
Just extend your hand when he needs it and you shall receive twice fold love
from him.
Enough Of Girls /women / Wife Emotions Now… we Boys also
Have Emotions and respect it.
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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 7/23/2011 01:50:00 PM  |
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| Friday, July 22, 2011 |
| sad n unworthy |
Really, today I felt oddly sad and unworthy. I had not felt
that way in a while. I felt unlovable, ugly and unwanted. The shadow has
emerged from a nap. Why? I don't know. I have not had good luck getting into
any commitment. I am definitely making new friends but yet I feel removed. I
was sitting in the usual location and just felt incredibly lonely. All I wanted
to do was run home to truly be alone. I’m asking someone out, but its been
always a ‘no’. I have never been asked out in person. I don't know what it is
about me but there must be something. Just like there was something keeping me
from making friends in general. That I am not good enough. I don't think I am
ugly. Maybe in the back of my mind I think it is my past. I don't know. I am a
good, responsible, friendly and some what reserved guy. Maybe too reserved. I
must put out some sort of vibe. I don't know. I don't seem to have an unfriendly
vibe to peoples around me. I don't know. The shadow has overtaken me this
afternoon. I want it lost again. It seems to stalk me and waits for the minute
to pounce. I wish I had answers. Still i'm happy... life moves on.........
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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 7/22/2011 01:54:00 PM  |
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| why this happened |
I found peace,
Whenever I came near you
I found my existence,
Which I had forgotten
I remembered you in the
Season of grief
Whenever I was sad because of loneliness,
I remembered you
Beware heart!
You are falling in love once again
Heart,stop right there
You are falling in love once again
I don't know why this happened
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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 7/22/2011 01:48:00 PM  |
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| confused |
It is just me and loneliness here. Some days I love it,
today I hate it.
Loneliness permeates me today. I don’t know why.
Sometimes I think it would just be better if I had a
someone. Then I think of the time I had a gal friend and I am happy to live
alone.
I think I am ugly and nothing I do will change that.
When I am alone, my mind plays games with me. Why can’t my
mind be like everyone else’s?
Will I ever be “cured”?
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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 7/22/2011 01:44:00 PM  |
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| truth |
Truth… what is truth ….. Truth has a variety of meanings,
such as the state of being in accord with a particular fact or reality, or
being in accord with the body of real things, real events or actualities…. Truth
can be different based on the perception of different persons for the same
thing… cause what I know can be truth for me… but it can’t be same for other…. And
vice versa…… hope someday I come across
the real truth which would be same for everyone……
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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 7/22/2011 01:15:00 PM  |
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| Wednesday, July 20, 2011 |
| completely new beginning |
Dunno why but I feel I should keep on writing… and now I’m
going to start from where I had started earlier….. from the beginning and wid the same note….
You I ain’t a rich kid, just a poor nerd,
Ain’t got no money, my pockets full of mud.
Faded jeans and ragged shirts, thank god they are in,
Cuz those are the only things I have to fit in.
So if you are that kinda gal, who just goes for money.
You can check out Harry, he's got a big limousine.
All I have got is unconditional love.
All I can promise you is I’ll be there when the things are
tough.
No I can’t promise you dinner in golden plates.
No I can’t promise you disco nights so late.
We can get a candle or two and light up my place.
Maybe wash some crockery, order pizzas at low rate.
No lousy music, my guitar gently plays
A song, written, especially for you babe.
All I have got is unconditional love.
All I can promise you is I’ll be there when the sea is rough.
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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 7/20/2011 01:56:00 PM  |
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| emptiness female version |
Suddenly came across the female version of the Rohan
Rathores EMPTINESS … sung by Kushi Diwakar…. And I am just loving it…………
Tu aaja tu aaja
Mujhko meri saja to suna ja
Wo aahe haa wo asu
Mere hisse ke mujko rula ja
Shapne tere sare
, jinme mein rehti
thi
Tukre banke meri, jakm sine mein kar gayi ho
Meine mere jaana kyun nehi jaana
Ishq tera dard tera aaa..
Meine mere jaana kyun nehi jaana
Ishq tera dard tera ho...
Akeli akeli
Reh gayi bin tere akeli
Mein tarpu ya mein tarsu
Ya chale ayu mein pass tere
Itni tanhai hay
, jindegi kho gayi
Bate karne sare, aa rahi hu tujh se hi ho
Meine mere jaana aab hay jaana
Ishq tera dard tera hay...
Meine mere jaana aab hay jaana
Ishq tera dard tera
Tu jo geya...
Hole mera rahta hay
Dil ye mera...
Khud sehi tanha rahta hay
And I feel too lonely yea
Where's a better place on this emptiness
And I am too lonely yea
Where's a better place on this emptiness yeah!
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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 7/20/2011 01:49:00 PM  |
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| Me n My Loneliness |
Loneliness is the feeling of being alone, be it physical,
emotional, or spiritual. It is a strong feeling, strong enough that it can even
drive people into psychotic episodes and suicidal fits of rage. The pain that
it can bring drives down right into our souls and throwing us into total
darkness.
I would like to quote what Orson Welles once said. He said
that we are born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and
friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone. The
moment that we create illusions for ourselves is called life. Perhaps that is
why we feel lonely even in that particular moment that we are supposed to
create illusions for ourselves to escape loneliness. Enough of facts, let's go
on to personal experience.
In this wonderful journey called life, we are filled with
many emotions which are inevitable, and among these emotions, the emotion that
stings me the most is loneliness. Nobody can journey their life alone, utterly.
When I was a teen, i disconnected myself from the world outside and made my
world on internet, and today when i see my other class mates, i realise what i
have lost and what they gained. i missed the part, where they made loads of
friends, i too made many friends but they were only on internet, their
existance was there till was online or i had cell phone, till we chatted,
texted or talked over calls. after the calls ended, texted stopped or chats
ended, i was left alone. and then the pain that stings your mind, your heart,
your soul, your spirit known as loneliness. For me to watch a person suffering
from loneliness is like watching a patient dying from cancer. After all, some
cancer patients are lonely too. For I can feel the stinging pain of loneliness,
I always had a soft spot for loners.
Among all the feelings I've experienced either putting
myself into others' shoes or based on my personal experience, loneliness is the
worst feeling I could ever imagine. It is worse than any physical harm can do
to me and mind you, It is worse than any emotional conflicts I have ever encountered
for I have been humiliated, embarrassed, yelled at, ignored, told I was no
good, being insulted, given hurtful nicknames and the list goes as long as a
receipt you would receive when you empty the goods in a shopping mall. Life on
this planet is never easy and that is why we can move on only with the help of
others, of those who care. Going through life alone, walking down the paths of
darkness in a one-man journey, is not totally impossible, but your mind, your
soul, your heart will definitely and repeatedly tell you to leave this world
and find friends in another world instead.
From my point of view, a loner is just a nice person lost in
the crowd. A shy, quiet person who has not found himself, lack of confidence or
was not given any chance to join the crowd, in short, ignored. I strongly
advise each and every citizen of planet Earth to reach out for these lonely
people who can be nice and talented in several ways yet to be discovered
instead of cornering ourselves with our own assembly gossiping about how weird,
odd, eccentric, inscrutable and dreadful that loner is, which can be hurtful
and demotivating. No matter how busy you are, you can still make time for
yourself. So, why not for others who need them? Donating a few minutes of your
bathing time or time for meals would not mean that you cannot bathe, eat,
breathe or continue what you wanted to do. It only means less of it, and a
little for others. If you can not make time for others, one day, nobody is
gonna make time for you, and thereafter, you will be thrown in the valleys of
darkness, accompanied by the excruciating, crucifying pain called loneliness.
And this blog is a part of me where i learnt to befriend my
loneliness..... its all ME N MY LONELINESS and how i started writing here..
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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 7/20/2011 12:00:00 AM  |
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| Thursday, July 14, 2011 |
| Its me |
It’s so strange. And yes, I know it's not the first time
this has been discussed. And this one, when it really comes down to it, will be
no different from the others. But it’s another one of those times when this
little part of my life that I have controlled so it won’t consume me, starts
bubbling up again. I don’t know why, little things start it, get me thinking
again. Why, am I, an almost 21year old boy, incapable of long term commitment? It’s
quite embarrassing to think or talk about... Almost laughable at how pathetic
that seems. If my story were told to a random stranger I’m sure they would
think the reason would be that I am some dirty-faced, antisocial, impressionable,
loner. I'll have you know, I am none of those things. I have friends, great
friends; the majority of which are in healthy normal relationships. I however,
am not.
I'm not saying I am not loved, because I really am - but not that way. Not in
the way that is different from anything else and can make you feel the way that
nothing else can. I wonder what it’s like to know you are loved that way. It
fascinates me because it is completely foreign to me. It’s like imagining what
it would feel like to be weightless in a rocketship on its way to the moon. Unfathomable
until you actually experience it. And, for one reason or another, it seems as
though I am not cut out to be an astronaut.
People want me, but not enough. Not enough to take it past the initial thrill
of it. And I know how it works; oh I’ve seen it hundreds of times. Heard it,
watched it... Just not in the first person that's all. It’s always looking
behind glass windows, doors, at the others who have found it. And even though
sometimes its fleeting, short-lived, its still real. I wonder about the day
when I will be the one people are watching.
I have all of these things I want to do before I die; ride in a hot air
balloon, awarded with oscar, learn to play guitar, see the statue of liberty,
silly things like that. But more than any of those things, I would like to
experience the feeling of being completely and utterly loved. In a way that not
your parents, your best friend nor your sister loves you. But the love you get
from someone that you feel the same about. Maybe that’s the silliest of all,
but to me it is the most important.
I don’t know. I really truly don’t know, as I’ve said a thousand times before
and will probably continue saying until I get my answer - if I get an answer. Sometimes
it seems as though I’m reaching in the dark, for something I know must be there
but it’s just so hard to find.
I still hold on to a tiny thread of hope that one day it’ll hit me over the
head and I’ll just stand there baffled and realize I’ve finally found what I’ve
been looking for, for as long as I can remember. But I also keep my head just
below the clouds because the only thing worse for me than never finding what
you’ve been looking for would be to constantly wait for it when it never comes.
Anyway, to all the people who have found it, my hat is off to you. I hope you
know how lucky you are to be experiencing one of the most amazing things in the
world, I’m sure you do. And as for me, I will continue on with my life, doing
the things I love, that feel right, and hope for the best. they say the best
way to find love is by doing what you love, and I suppose I’m trying my best to
do that right now. So maybe... Maybe, one day everything will fall into place. And
if not, I’ll at least have the things I truly love to keep me occupied.
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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 7/14/2011 01:48:00 PM  |
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| Wednesday, July 13, 2011 |
| what i'd be for u |
| For you I’d just be there. Someone to talk to, share things with, confide in…someone to ask you how your day was and you’d be comfortable enough to share, without fear of ridicule or disinterest. Someone to cuddle with and share intimate moments with, someone you will always feel safe with. We can play together, laugh together, and cry together. Know when you want to be alone and when you want someone to hold you close. Understand your limits and know where to draw the line. Know your friends and accept them all as my friends. I would trust you and be trustworthy enough for you. You will have no fears with me, live dangerously and make everyday an adventure. Live life and love it, have no regrets. Be alone and never be lonely. Passion kindness, honesty, happiness, sincerity and respect will be everyday words. Hatred, sadness, contempt and hypocrisy will never come about. A million people in the world and I only have eyes for you. Wear your emotions on your sleeves and I will care for them as my own. Give me a smile and I will give you my whole. Be there for me and I’ll be there for you a thousand times over. |
posted by Sachin Shresta @ 7/13/2011 01:44:00 PM  |
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| Sunday, July 10, 2011 |
| everythings going to be alright |
Suddenly I’m learning about positive sides of life, how to
adjust with life, how to be happy with what you get, and suddenly I realize
what my quotes, Everythings gonna be alright meant… now things are getting
alright…. And getting everything….. I’m so happy, getting back all happiness,
love, life, dream on…..
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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 7/10/2011 03:22:00 PM  |
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| Saturday, July 9, 2011 |
| hopes, wishes and me |
Every time there’s a gleam of hope….. Somehow something or
someone pulls it away from me... Every time I see the light every time I come
nearer to my life someone something stops me... Diverts it to another path... Another
hurdle another close door... It is disheartening... Breaks my heart even more
and more... Throws me deeper in my sorrow n despair... In my abyss... The
journey to my life to my heart becomes cold... I don’t know why... But I guess I
do... Its not that I don’t do anything... Its not that I don’t give my all but
the more I push the more it pulls me back... I cry at nite and I swear at
heavens above... Is death the answer is it the only way to remove the grip of
fate... For if it is then I will embrace it….. I will fulfill the momentum to
which I believe I am being propelled to….. How can I escape this…? I believe I can’t
now it is too late.... I will prepare…. I don’t want to ask why anymore for I’m
not getting any answers…. I don’t want to seek advices for they are all the
same…. In the end the choice is mind and as always I will not regret it I will
stand my ground and I only ask God to have mercy on my soul….. It is perhaps
the only way for my love to live again for her to be free happy and at peace....
For my love ones to be happy and be comfortable….. And so I need to prepare….. And
be at peace….. Soon…….
You may ask why??? For
I’m nearing the end of my rope.... Hope is fading and my soul is dying…. My heart
pumps ever so slow ever so quiet…. You know if you are there…... You know the
feeling….. You smell the despair.... You see the darkness….. The coldness the numbness
envelopes you….. Perhaps you have been there….. I’ve never been there and I
wish no one should be where I am now…. I don’t think you are a coward if you
end the gift….. I don’t think it’s an easy way out because once you do it there
is no way out…. I am God fearing….. I believe in the goodness of God and Man…..
I believe in miracles and I believe in dreams….. I believe I am blessed….. And I
believe I am cursed.... I have made several mistakes and have hurt the people I
love most….. As the consequences of my choices I cannot amend….. I try so hard I
give all my resources and all that I have to make things right and yet it falls
short ever so short….. I so wish….. I so crave…... I kill and hurt to be with
you my love….. I cry shout and kick myself ….. I do things to make it happen
and yet it’s too slow or too short…. I know today what fate is saying I don’t
have the patience to wait any longer…. I know fate wants me to wait for she isn’t
ready….. I can’t anymore….. It so kills me……so destroys me...… so breaks me….. The
manifestation even becomes physical that I know it will only eat me up inside….
I know my heart my life waited as well but my heart my life isn’t prepared isn’t
ready…. I know coz I see what fate wanted me to see for quite a while now…. Its
just I refuse to see….. Cause I wanted so bad to be with my heart my life…. This
moment in my life the plateau of my life will turn on my on terms and my choice
will not be liked by my love but it is only way for my love and love ones to be
great and at peace….. And so it shall be done…..
Labels: experiences of life, wishes |
posted by Sachin Shresta @ 7/09/2011 02:50:00 AM  |
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| Friday, July 8, 2011 |
| WHY |
i woke up and now i see things differently..i lost something so valuable..and i can't seem to bring it back..am i insensitive to feel this way..or am i selfish then to feel strongly bout what i'm feeling now… in a moment it flew away and i haven't seen it come back to me..will it come back..should it come back..experts say reason for the lost was not intentional..but i said to them it was a conscious choice..therefore for me its not an excuse..there is no excuse..it was intentional..and therefore damaging beyond repair..every time i remember the moment..my heart beats so fast n i can't shake the awful feeling…disappointment.. me ..the thought of it haunts me..it strikes my gut up to now..cold death hits my spine..why do i feel this way..shouldn't i feel the compassion..shouldn't i understand..shouldn't i feel more protective..shouldn't i care more..i feel the burden as it is..it is my fault..its so heavy i cant even relax..cant even have peace at any given point..cant breathe when i remember it..my fuckin fault and i can't feel….but i made a promise..gotta keep it..i know ..will my feelings destroy me or make me whole..will you bring me back to life make me live again..that is the question..there is no fear..there is only sadness..again i ask why…why..happiness..where are you..why have u forsaken me..God have mercy on me..i should just pull the trigger so all can live again and move on..
Labels: regret |
posted by Sachin Shresta @ 7/08/2011 01:31:00 PM  |
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| Wednesday, July 6, 2011 |
| wish u come back |
Was it wrong to fall in love with you? Was it wrong to dream of your smile each time you cross my mind? Was it wrong to wish you were mine when all that's left are memories of you? Was it wrong when all I did was try to make things right between us even though you did me wrong? Tats hard can't you see? Everything is wrong now, but my heart would be wrong if I lied and say I don't love you anymore.
I don't care what you do. Get attached. Be happy. Disappear, come back. Forgive me. You can put me through that countless times and I can still put up with it. You can always count on me. You can take it out on me. You can offload on me. You know why? Because I love you and I'm still your best friend and your soul mate. Labels: wishes |
posted by Sachin Shresta @ 7/06/2011 01:38:00 PM  |
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| Sunday, July 3, 2011 |
| dreams |
We all have some dream and expectation from life. Actually all dreams are not really ours these are given by our well wishers and learn to live with it. when we born our parents and family members see a lot of dream and they have a lot of expectation with us.And i think these dreams show us a way to make our life. Some people says that they have a lot of expectation and they cannot bear it. I think this is wrong.
When we grow with time these dreams supports us to stand and teach how to run on the road of life. Every one wants to fulfill their dreams and when he does he feels an strange feeling. But as far as my opinion is concern i think you can be happy when you fulfill your dream but whenever you fulfill those dream which you didn't see these were seen by your well wishers, you get a lot of happiness.
So, See dream and try to fulfill them, but give first priority to others dreams..... and make your life bless full.
Labels: moments |
posted by Sachin Shresta @ 7/03/2011 12:14:00 PM  |
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| Saturday, July 2, 2011 |
| sad |
I m so sad..!! so depressed...!!! but no one is their who could feel my feeling inside me which is killing me badly..........m so lonely......crying...... waiting for someone who will cum n wipe my tears aways!!!!!.....i dont understand ..this....!! y the hell i fell for them wen i know non of them will cum to catch me......y am i feel like this suddenly............!!!!...:'(.Labels: sadness creeping |
posted by Sachin Shresta @ 7/02/2011 02:21:00 PM  |
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| Friday, July 1, 2011 |
| bit harder life |
sometimes I just get sick of being lonely. I get sick of having to rely on myself and my imagination for any kind of deeper mental or emotional stimulation. It’s getting to a point now where, I’ve had way too much time to think. My heart is forming cobwebs because the people I met, the experiences I’ve had so far, just aren’t cutting it. I think my imagination has had far too much time to become so specific in designing what my heart wants, I’m scared reality is just never going to compare. How can it? I never really gave it a chance. I’m torn between wanting only the best for myself and impatience. How much longer is it really going to take?
I feel like it’s impossible because I’ve made it impossible. I want magic. I want to feel such an intense pull towards someone it’s like our worlds just crashed into each other, changing them and me and everything I thought I knew. I want fireworks, and butterflies and magnetism, something tumultuous and huge and exciting and new. I want something to pull me out of myself and my head and my over-analysis and make me feel again, because I’ve forgotten. And I don’t think I can get it back on my own. But I’m scared I’m waiting out for a super unrealistic ideal that I’ve created for myself. I’m scared I’m chasing nothing. And every day it’s getting harder and harder to have faith in myself and everything I believe in. |
posted by Sachin Shresta @ 7/01/2011 01:46:00 PM  |
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