Tuesday, November 30, 2010
something from my past
Though it is unbelievable truth...
Though I know you'll never come back...
Why isn't my heart accepting the truth?
Anyone passing before me...
I think it is you...
Your image is permanently etched in my eyes...
Though I am in crowd...
I'm still lonely...
In the world of loneliness you left behind for me...
Though eyes are wide open...
Though you are a past dream...
I'm still wandering in that dream...
In the moonlight of your friendship...
Can I take it as I spent few days in that bliss?
In my thoughts...
In the pain I go through...
This night of pain is never ending...
Friendship of smiles...
Fragrance of bonding...
The boon of first love that I lost forever...

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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 11/30/2010 04:46:00 AM   0 comments
probs arises
My last post didn’t refer to anyone…. Its was for all whom once I had in my life……. And now I have lost them due to my own inefficience…… I’m just a loser…. Who can’t get wat he dreams and is not sure about future…. Whom everyone fail to understand …… I;m just me….. anyway….. having someone beside even doesn’t soothes…. Life is so bad…..

Anyway today my friend got a sms from institute stating if he fails to pay fee within few days he may get in trouble as institute may file complaint of forging…. I guess I too have got one sms ….. as I had forgot my cell at home …. I missed it…. And my cell got its display broken…. So I wouldn’t know…. Seems I;m gonna be in big trouble….. any way my probs…. I know no one can understand me n them.,……. Nor can help me….. I’m better off alone……….. 

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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 11/30/2010 04:06:00 AM   0 comments
Sunday, November 28, 2010
NO MORE YOU
 Just one look in the mirror
And I know I don't look the same being alone
I don't walk the same without you on my arm, I lost my charm
I don't know how I made it before
Cuz you are my future for sure
And now that it's over I dont know how I'm gonna get by

I look at my passenger side
And there's nobody to ride with me for life
It feels like the end, I lost my friend
I can't sleep at night,
Because your side ain't occupied
The hurt in my eyes, won't go away
I'm in so much pain

Don't know if I can make it or not
Everybody sees that I'm going through a lot
It's hard being alone,
When you used to be on top
Call for you, there's no more you
I stop for a minute then I pinch myself
I can't believe I'm here by myself
I can't do anything without your help.
Call for you, there's no more you..Ohhh

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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 11/28/2010 06:12:00 PM   1 comments
Saturday, November 27, 2010
falling into darkness
Why is it happening so, I’m not still willing to give up, just wishing for some miracle, some help, some aid…… I can’t be a loser so soon…… but now I’m so alone…. So helpless…..  I feel like I am all alone ... All by myself I need to get around this, My words are cold, I don't want them to hurt you, If I show you, I don't think you'd understand, Cause no one understands ,Donno why noone understands me….. why do tears fall when I find no one with me…… I just alone in this crowd……. I'm tired of being what you want me to be, Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface……… And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me, And I’ve got nothing to say, I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face, Looking everywhere only to find, That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind, I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real, I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along, Somewhere I belong…..
But no one want me to be there……… I’m all alone

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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 11/27/2010 01:36:00 AM   0 comments
Friday, November 26, 2010
wishes and forbiden memories
Its been more den 2 year………. I haven’t been in contact with miss V, but today while I was looking through the communities of a friend….. something reminded me of her, the same likes for Inuyasha, animax, gosh I dun belive that somewhere I still miss her…. Somebody really meant the words…. You can’t forget your 1st love….. its really difficult……… she was the one who sparked the fire for animation…. And I still dun believe I’m going to quit…. I gave up……… am I such a loser….. just wish I had a last chance…. Had a help….. had some miracle happened…. I want to do animation for her…. For the promise I made to her that I would be India’s best animator….. and I dunno why I’m being attracted to that friend….. anyway I know how to control my emotions…… I won’t let it control me…. And now when I have ended all my relation….. I’m better off alone…… I dun need anyone….. coz they can’t be my strength and I dun want to be their weakness………. Have learnt from life… never make anyone ur priority. When they leave u …. U just stand watching yourself getting shatter…. And I dun want to fall into pieces…… and I feel friendship is best relation….. love changes everything… anyway when it has almost come to an end….. I just keep my fingers crossed and pray for a miracle……..

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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 11/26/2010 05:36:00 AM   1 comments
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
the end atlast
Even having so many people to care about , I’m still lonely………. No one to be with me , nobody to understand what I’m going throiugh……… everyone wants me to be with them, but no one wants to really know what I’m going through, what I feel, how helpless I am………. Its just when they have time or miss me, they think about me care to ask about me….ya they have a personal life and they ought to be busy with them,……… why would they care for me, my dream, my ambitions……… it means nothing to them…….. all they know is I had a complete fucking past……. My present is fully fucked up……….. and I have no fucking future……..well one thing will always satisfy me that I tried to acieve my dream and ambition…. Struggled hard…. Gave everything to achieve it…… so no regerets…. My dream to be best animator of India come to an end here………. and its always ME N MY LONELINESS.... even when peoples are arround me

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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 11/24/2010 01:26:00 PM   0 comments
Monday, November 22, 2010
Dream
I painted a picture and it was you...
It came near and asked me to kiss her...
When I went near pitying her...
She said her heart is with you...
And asked me to kiss you...
I'm in the age to love and romance...
What's wrong if I take interest in it?
I too love to kiss you...
But shyness is stopping me...
It says there's time for it...
Chill breeze is making my lover to shiver in cold...
It told me to entwine you like a warm hug...
I know how to keep myself warm from the cold...
Stop imagining,
I don't need your help...
Why are you asking me to leave when I wish to be with you?
How benevolent you are on me?
What can I do?
There's something special in you...
It pulled me towards you...
She's beautiful, the world is after her...
Keep the world out from following her is what my heart yearns...
There's a thing as my companion which you don't know...
It's none other than my own shadow...
Breeze will also get tired walking with you, my dear...
No need to get so dejected, you are my shadow!
I was waiting to hear this from you...
I was dreaming for this day...

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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 11/22/2010 06:06:00 AM   1 comments
my gal
I dreamt sometime ago...
I fell in love with you somewhere...
You're my imagination...
You're my dream girl...
My heart said you're mine...
When someone asks me the sweetest thing in my life...
The first thing that would strike my mind is your name...
When someone asks me the happiest thing in my life...
It would be the path you go...
When someone asks me about the sky's missing blue color...
I would tell them that it is in your eyes...
I'll curse myself if I fail to express my feelings to you...
I'll praise myself if you say what I want to say...
I'll be myself if you are with me...
else I will go mad...

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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 11/22/2010 05:59:00 AM   1 comments
Sunday, November 21, 2010
last try .... hope to get help
I dunno whats happening the more I try to quit…. Give it up… I’m unable to….. its feels like its what I’m born for…. I have come a log way…. Struggled a lot…. If nobody’s helping me, doesn’t mean I’m gonna quit…….. I had decided to give it up….. but I won’t lose it all so easily……… I know I’m helpless………. Being poor is really worst thing….. when the world outside is money oriented….. but just wished I had a little support…. Can’t give up when I gave my everything for it………. I dunno where I’m gonna bring money from but now I want to achieve my goal….. doesn’t matter if I have to sell myself for it……….. for me my dream is everything……… it’s the reason I moved on for……….. forgot every pain n sorrow………. Leaving animation mean committing suicide…….. I’m not a loser to kill myself…… will give a one last try……… just wish god helps me………. Wish I get a treasure………. But wishes dun come true……… Monday will be back to institute after a week………. Well I know I need to pay some amount………. Just a day in hand…….. wishing for a miracle…….. now I’m in such a bad condition that can’t even arrange 10k bucks………. So helpless…….. and most dun trust me as already in heavy depts…….. even having broken cell has cut me off from everyone………… isha had said she would try but I have no contacts now…….. such a helpless loser am i………. dun wanna be a loser anymore…. Being loser sucks……….. just wanna do great…….. even I have to prove my skills in annual function at institute……. But if I fail to pay……….. it seems I would be out………. My dreams would be shattered…….. hoping for best but not prepared for worst………..

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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 11/21/2010 05:11:00 AM   0 comments
Thursday, November 4, 2010
never ending probs
my dreams not breaking..... managed to save it.... i need to pay minimum 3k-5k anyway per month... but another prob is i have to return money back to my friend anyhow for his ungernt needs.... dunno how will i manage 20k wid in 2 days........... life is an ever ending prob

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posted by Sachin Shresta @ 11/04/2010 06:32:00 PM   0 comments
 
 
About Me


Name: Sachin Shresta
Home: bhubaneswar, orissa, India
About Me: i m a common guy out of world who's lil weird and crazy, bzy always in his dream, imaginations, in his world of thought but no one know wat he is thinkng but there will be a day when all will praise him.. i am ADITYA, thats what my friends know me as, i now waorking as a LAYOUT DESIGER at a local Newspaper... i too do freelancing for MOTION GRAPHICS AND VFX shots, i'm too a GRAPHICS DESIGNER,...... well i am what i am and i love to enjoy life to fullest kya pata KAL HO NA HO. Trustin U iz my Decision ...n Provin me ri8 iz ur choice.......
See my complete profile

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