Dunno what made me do this, and then I realized tat just a
delay of 10 secs could cost me my life. But then it was fun, fear, excitement
and a big risk.
The whole evening was a disaster, I’m not able to understand
what I’m in real, someone takes me as flirt, who is messing up with their gals
just because I’m talking nicely and being bit close. Someone thinks I just a
loner, sober just cos I shared few part of my life with his gal. Someone is
scared of accepting me as her love just cos she doesn’t wants to be in trouble or i'm just not a rich kid.
What am I? Who am I?
Thinking of ending everything, completely frustrated, while
going back home at 12.30 am, something made me walk towards the railway tracks
nearby. Stood on tracks, lit my cigarette, and watched to both sides, it was
calm, dark night. Suddenly the surrounding was filled with a loud roar, and I could
make it clear it was a train coming from the opposite side. Just one thing was
running in my mind, “LIFE YOU CAN”T SCREW ME ANYMORE I QUIT.”
I started walking towards the train, and train was speeding
towards me, I was scared, heartbeats felt to be louder enough to be heard,
everything that I went through came in front of me, my past, how my ex dumped
me off, how I struggled through the pain, the way I made my way through, the
ups and downs, all the time I walked on the path not taken, my family, my
friends from so called facebook, some of those who are really close to me, some
whose fucking boyfriends think I’m gonna steal their gals, fuck…… but someday I too
was the same, so can’t complain. And suddenly I realized what will my family do
without me, the friends who always needed me and I felt they need me badly. But den I again was brought back to
reality by the roar of the speeding giant, and it must be just 10- 15 sec away
from me and I manage to jump off the track.
I saved myself, but the aditya inside committed suicide or
may be I killed him, pushing him under the speeding giant. Now its just sachin,
the real me. And complete new beginning. A new beginning of my life.
