i woke up and now i see things differently..i lost something so valuable..and i can't seem to bring it back..am i insensitive to feel this way..or am i selfish then to feel strongly bout what i'm feeling now… in a moment it flew away and i haven't seen it come back to me..will it come back..should it come back..experts say reason for the lost was not intentional..but i said to them it was a conscious choice..therefore for me its not an excuse..there is no excuse..it was intentional..and therefore damaging beyond repair..every time i remember the moment..my heart beats so fast n i can't shake the awful feeling…disappointment.. me ..the thought of it haunts me..it strikes my gut up to now..cold death hits my spine..why do i feel this way..shouldn't i feel the compassion..shouldn't i understand..shouldn't i feel more protective..shouldn't i care more..i feel the burden as it is..it is my fault..its so heavy i cant even relax..cant even have peace at any given point..cant breathe when i remember it..my fuckin fault and i can't feel….but i made a promise..gotta keep it..i know ..will my feelings destroy me or make me whole..will you bring me back to life make me live again..that is the question..there is no fear..there is only sadness..again i ask why…why..happiness..where are you..why have u forsaken me..God have mercy on me..i should just pull the trigger so all can live again and move on..
Labels: regret |
wat d hell r u doing 2 urself..??