Really, today I felt oddly sad and unworthy. I had not felt
that way in a while. I felt unlovable, ugly and unwanted. The shadow has
emerged from a nap. Why? I don't know. I have not had good luck getting into
any commitment. I am definitely making new friends but yet I feel removed. I
was sitting in the usual location and just felt incredibly lonely. All I wanted
to do was run home to truly be alone. I’m asking someone out, but its been
always a ‘no’. I have never been asked out in person. I don't know what it is
about me but there must be something. Just like there was something keeping me
from making friends in general. That I am not good enough. I don't think I am
ugly. Maybe in the back of my mind I think it is my past. I don't know. I am a
good, responsible, friendly and some what reserved guy. Maybe too reserved. I
must put out some sort of vibe. I don't know. I don't seem to have an unfriendly
vibe to peoples around me. I don't know. The shadow has overtaken me this
afternoon. I want it lost again. It seems to stalk me and waits for the minute
to pounce. I wish I had answers. Still i'm happy... life moves on.........
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life is all abt being positive!!!! so just b positive...n thnk.... life hs sumthn better in store fr yu! :)