Two days before i got committed again... wow... the rain of love again drenched me..... now LOVE wat is it ????
Possessiveness is not love
Jealousy is not love Lust is not love Fear is not love Keeping people all to yourself is not love Expecting something from someone is not love
To love someone unconditionally means that you love the person exactly as they are, exactly as they were before, and exactly as they will be in the future – because people change all the time, so if you love the person, you will love them even if they become something you disagree with. How many parents can say that about their kids? How many people can say that about their “lover”? Love is not about you or your pleasure or your amusement. It’s not about what you get out of it or what the other person can give to you. It’s not about having a trophy you can show off with and tell people “This is *MY* girlfriend/ boyfriend/ wife/ husband/ son/ daughter/ whatever”. You do not “own” anyone. It’s not about you feeling ‘proud’ to be with someone who always agrees with everything you say and do and never does anything you disagree with. Unconditional love means that the person can just live their life exactly as they choose and you will always be there for them no matter what.
You are the only person who can tell you what love is. The only reason I’m writing all this stuff is because people always try to fit “love” in with things like dating, relationships and marriage and all that. You can’t make any sense of it if you keep doing that. You have to get rid of everything you think you know first.
And what i learnt from past
Letting go of someone you love is one of the hardest things you can do, but it’s also very necessary. If you don’t let go, you may end up smothering them and they will want to stay away from you. If someone was always worried about you and always judging every little thing you do, and panicking over seemingly tiny things… would you want to spend more time with them or less? This counts for every kind of relationship, but seems to be a common problem among parents for some reason. I believe they call it “overprotective”. It really comes down to fear and trust. Just like you are more likely to know what’s best for you than even your closest friend, it goes both ways. Just because the person is doing something that looks like a really bad idea to you, doesn’t mean they’re making a huge mistake. It may actually be right for them. And even if it isn’t, mistakes are not the end of the world unless they’re fatal – the entire point of mistakes is to learn from them. If you keep someone from making mistakes, you are keeping them from learning… you would be holding them back. You don’t want to do that, do you?
This doesn’t mean you should never give people advice or tell them what you think, though. By all means, do so. But don’t become “obsessed” with it, or nag them about it or keep bringing it up every other day. That will just make them even less likely to want to listen to you. If you really feel a need to get a point across to someone, the best way to do it is by example. Practice what you preach. Mention it every now and then if you must. But most importantly, give them a REASON to listen to you. And respect their decisions. Labels: aditya |
